I didn& #39;t have privacy as a child, so masking became a means of survival. A false impression of myself helped me to get through situations I didn& #39;t understand. When I don& #39;t mask, people are either afraid of me or pissed off. https://twitter.com/mykola/status/1387794143708073991">https://twitter.com/mykola/st...

I don& #39;t like that people think masking is being fake or disingenuous. In reality, it just buys me time. It& #39;s the only way I know how to keep people engaged. I know normal isn& #39;t real, but I don& #39;t want to be treated special. I only want the benefit of the doubt.

At the same time, yes, in some ways, I take pride in fooling people. I feel proud of myself when NT people can& #39;t tell I& #39;m on the spectrum; I don& #39;t care if it& #39;s ignorance or not. At least I communicated something I intended.

My thoughts don& #39;t even feel private; even in my head, I& #39;m on a stage, and every misstep feels like I& #39;m bombing in front of a packed crowd at the apollo. It& #39;s hard for me to feel I know myself sometimes.

So masking is about maintaining my privacy or fighting for a private place in my thoughts, which is made up of a neverending cycle of catchphrases I use like passwords to gain access to spaces, I& #39;d otherwise be considered too "anti-social" to be a part of.