I used to like the word "veggie(s)". It& #39;s cute. But I have seen that word so many times in the last 4 days I never wanna see it again.
And stop telling me to give up cheese, stop trying to make no cheese happen, it& #39;s not gonna happen. You can pry my cheese from my dead, fat fingers.
My fat studies graduate school ass knows this is all bullshit but I still hate my body yayyyyyyy

If I go back to counting calories, I WILL succomb to the dark side, and no one wants that. And yet, I still hate my body yayyy
No one& #39;s gonna chop my tits off at 360 lbs. No doctor& #39;s gonna respect me at 360 lbs. No one& #39;s gonna date me at 360 lbs. No one& #39;s gonna think I& #39;m beautiful at 360 lbs.

And yet if I lose some, I& #39;m just gonna put it and more back on.
I can& #39;t win. I wish I could go back to before I read the literature, so I could have some HOPE, but there IS NONE. I should feel empowered in my fatness, but I do NOT. I want to not care, but I will HAVE to lose weight for top surgery.
And don& #39;t get me wrong, I will lose the weight. That& #39;s not in question. It& #39;s just the fact that I will be damaging my body even more and fucking with my set weight so it gets even higher that upsets me.
Now taking applications for a top surgeon who will operate on someone with a BMI of 56.
...
...

Yeah, I thought so.
I love my mom but I also hate her for allowing me to join her in her ever yo-yoing diets when I was in middle school. She fucked up my metabolism and my set weight and I will never be able to fix them.

You made me this way!! Are you happy??

She can& #39;t hear me she& #39;s dead.
This thread got weird. Anyway, I& #39;m severely morbidly obese and I hate myself and I& #39;d love to not care but I& #39;m gonna need to drop So Many pounds for top surgery and it& #39;s gonna fuck my weight up even more and I& #39;m having an existential crisis about it.

OKAY NITE
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