Read on Twitter
Aight I gotta get some stuff off the old chest here. This isn& #39;t really directed at anyone in particular, and I don& #39;t levy blame at anyone at all, whether they see this or not. I& #39;ve just been really goin through it right now and need somewhere to say stuff. I got nowhere bruh.
I& #39;ve pretty much gotten to the point where all of my friends have heard all about my issues and my depression, and don& #39;t wanna hear it anymore. Again, no blame, no grudges. I& #39;m glad, truly, that I have friends that take care of their own mental health, at least a little.
Also, please don& #39;t respond to this publically. If you must say something, be it for comfort, anger, or whatever, all of you have some way of reaching me. And I really don& #39;t expect this thread to reach many people I don& #39;t know. Finally, with the disclaimers out of the way, pain.
I& #39;ve been feeling chronically alone and petrified lately. I haven& #39;t had motivation to do anything for months, even when it& #39;s hurting me. Haven& #39;t really had many meaningful conversations with anyone for a while either. Maybe a few in the last few months?
I don& #39;t get to see anyone because corona, and that& #39;s not so bad, or it wouldn& #39;t be if I could VC with people or whatever. Unfortunately, I feel kinda afraid of getting on call with people. I haven& #39;t really done anything in so long. I just sit here. Don& #39;t even play games anymore.
I have so many commitments that I& #39;ve let slip. Even a mountain of homework to do. I just don& #39;t do any of them, and I don& #39;t know why. Everything is just getting so much worse too. It& #39;s gotten to the point where even my head isn& #39;t safe. I can& #39;t even have my own thoughts or feelings
And it& #39;s not like someone else is stopping me. My brain is sick. I may not even be the real me. I could very well be just another mask put on by the inhabitant of this mind and body to shield herself from the world. All I& #39;ve felt in months is pain. Even that& #39;s going away. Empty.
I don& #39;t have anyone I feel safe talking to. All of my friends either don& #39;t care, don& #39;t have the time, don& #39;t wanna hear it, can& #39;t listen for their own health, or I don& #39;t feel safe talking to them about it. And don& #39;t get me started on my parents.
My parents are rarely around, and when they are, they just demand I do stuff. I try to talk about anything I have any interest in, and I get silenced because they don& #39;t care. They literally have said that they don& #39;t care and that I& #39;m annoying. Then they say I& #39;m taking advantage??
I don& #39;t know. I just feel so alone. Always have. Nobody I like appears to see me as an equal, and quite frankly I agree. I can& #39;t seem to make lasting positive connections. Sure, I& #39;ve helped some people, but far more often I destroy. That& #39;s part of why I chose my name. Katrina.
Anyways, I& #39;ll wrap this up. If anyone actually READ this, thanks. I hope it didn& #39;t hurt to read or anything. I& #39;m just screaming into the void here, don& #39;t pay too much mind. I love so many people but I don& #39;t know how much more I can take. I hope this isn& #39;t so long and goodnight.
