PSA: patching is NOT easy.... it& #39;s easy for somone to say "patching is easy" it& #39;s fucking hard IRL
Me: can i haz window to patch plz?
Them: will it break anything?
Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i mean you declined the budget for the test environment so......¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯
them:........................ have you patched it yet???
me: errr..... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/
them: i say someone on linkedin saying "Security is easy" and "patching is easy" so clearly you aren& #39;t very good at this!
me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯
me: can i haz budet for test environment then?
them: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ok we& #39;ve had a board meeting.. no!
me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯
me: deploys patch! yaaaaaaaas 1337 cyber operator!
them: WTF you patched us.. why did you do this?
me: i haz to keep you safe
them: if you patch without authorisation again you are FIRED
me: but its& #39; RCE CVSS 10.0 and u made someone open that service on the perimiter
them: NINE NINE NINE! you shall not patch unless we authorise it and unless you ensure NOTHING will break!
me: errr ok can i haz HA and test environment and disk to disk 5 mins snap backups plz?
them: jesus it& #39;s easy i saw it on LinkedIN. and no !
me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯¯\_(ツ)_/¯
and that is a more realistic insight into the world of cyber security than half the shit i read on LinkedIn!

thank you for coming to my Ted Talk! x
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