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stg if I get assessed for autism I& #39;d probably get diagnosed but bc my parents went "no I really don& #39;t believe you are" I& #39;m on this "god how could I have ever thought that???" kick
I want to believe my parents, but like my dad blatantly lied to me? "Those kids [people with autism] can& #39;t go to school," and I& #39;m like "what are 504s, IEPs, and special ed classes for then??" It& #39;s hard not to be angry at him for that, but I feel intense guilt about being angry
and the thing is; this is all a repeat of me coming out as trans. They didn& #39;t believe me, my dad said that "real" trans people show signs when they& #39;re toddlers, they were so shocked, it "came out of left field," and now it& #39;s been almost 3 years and he believes me
like idk ig I& #39;m sorry that I relate to a LOT of autistic symptoms, I& #39;m sorry nearly EVERY online test I take puts me at a "high likelihood for ASD" I& #39;m sorry that even the POSSIBILITY of coming in contact with mental health medication (which I don& #39;t want rn) makes u uncomfortable
and what sucks the most? I value YOUR comfort over mine. I only told you because I didn& #39;t expect your reaction to be so aggressive. now I feel terrible forcing you guys to sit down to an interview you don& #39;t believe in. "did your child __?" "no," "yes but it doesn& #39;t mean anything"
"even if you are, you& #39;re so high functioning it wouldn& #39;t matter" I kinda think it matters since I& #39;m scared that when I live alone in a college dorm I won& #39;t be able to take care of myself, but if I tell you that you won& #39;t let me leave 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😄" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit geöffnetem Mund und lächelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit geöffnetem Mund und lächelnden Augen">
seriously. I have intense difficulty showering, I would go for at least a full week without cleaning myself (b4 working it into my schedule recently), and I have no idea if it& #39;s because of gender dysphoria, an anxiety disorder, executive dysfunction, or ALL 3!!
literally shit that isn& #39;t school, watching youtube, or engaging with my special interests is SO difficult for me. This isn& #39;t an anxiety disorder, I don& #39;t feel consistent worry or super low self esteem. If it isn& #39;t autism, then it& #39;s just,,,me not trying enough? but I try so hard
