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We get a lot of flack as the "alphabet community" on these streets yaz, people saying we demand too much and should be happy with what we have and blah blah blah.
I always wonder, do they actually know how it& #39;s like to grow up Queer in a heteronormative society?
I always wonder, do they actually know how it& #39;s like to grow up Queer in a heteronormative society?
In Primary school, you watch as all your peers have their first kisses, you watch with envy as everyone is asked about who their gf/bf is and everyone tells their parents and friends with delight. You are the weird kid who is too fem or too masc so naturally no one ever asks you.
Then you get to the Std 5 (Gr 7) farewell and every cishet kid is excited to ask their crush to be their date (at this time we are around 12/13, but only cishet kids get to have a sexuality), those of us who aren& #39;t already "weirdos" (visibly queer) also play along, blending in.
But High School is where it all begins to sting. Those 5 years when teens are at their most horniest and are experimenting fully, that& #39;s when you really feel othered. From the VDay assemblies to the balls, everything points to you not fitting in. You are never anyone& #39;s Valentine.
I, and many other people here, have always been visibly queer. There was no closet option (as painful as that is as well) for most of us. So we were spectators in all our teen experimentation years. We never had RomComs or any form of representation, even now its not much.
Don& #39;t think varsity is any different, we still go to school with other people who are also dependent on their queerphobic families for support so only the lucky few get to find true love there. Most of us just go with the motion and sleep with whomever will have us
It& #39;s only when we start to be independent that we can fully be ourselves, and that first love who sees you and is not ashamed of you, that is the one you give all your heart too. So a month feels like a year because this is all new.
This is why we celebrate one month anniversaries, because for most of us this one month is a huge milestone for us. We have never dated so what do we know? We can have 4 & #39;love of our lives& #39; in one year because we are merely playing catch up.
When I was 14 in Gr9, naturally I would go on to date a 20 something year old masters in law student from UFH. In the same year, a 50+ year old man would come fetch me from school with chocolates. He would later try to fuck me in his house.
No one teaches queer kids about love and relationships. Most of us have been victims of abuse and rape but no one in our families wants to talk about it. We are "family meetings" personified. This is why your "jokes" trigger and when we speak up, you label us "too personal"
I have realised that sex is a form of love for me and many other queer folk, it shouln& #39;t be though but it& #39;s difficult to unlearn. As soon as a guy smiles and "chooses" you, you give them all of you because all of this is foreign to you.
So I guess I am pleading with you new family makers, listen to and observe your kids. I have 15 wasted years where I could have had family support but instead I became a victim like many others. Let& #39;s not create any more unnecessary victims.
Change will begin with you and no one else. I am hurting because only now (at 34) am I learning how to love but I have to be also mindful that most transitioning people do not even reach that age so is there hope for me?
I just want do better please
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I just want do better please
