Read on Twitter
being a butch lesbian is having everybody expect you to make the first move but you yourself are usually terrified of making the first move because you don& #39;t want to be seen as predatory
had a long talk with somebody who I deeply care for a while ago who was crushing on me *hard* and was deeply hurt that I never said anything
and the reason is that horrible little voice in my head telling me that I& #39;m disgusting, nobody would ever want me, and all the rest of it
and the reason is that horrible little voice in my head telling me that I& #39;m disgusting, nobody would ever want me, and all the rest of it
the point I& #39;m making is that, as many of you who know me personally will already be aware, I& #39;ve been single for close to two years now and I have zero idea of how the hell to change that, even ignoring the deadly global pandemic for a moment
whenever I& #39;m out with friends I feel like a third wheel, whenever I go to an event I feel like an outcast.... it& #39;s so much easier to just stay at home and avoid the whole thing
but I am so sick of avoiding stuff rather than learning how to cope
but I am so sick of avoiding stuff rather than learning how to cope
it& #39;s not like I haven& #39;t the guts to stick my neck out elsewhere - in politics I take *great* delight in rattling the cages of the rich and powerful, the consequences be damned, because some cages need rattling
that and the dynamics of mutual contempt (even if it may not usually be overt) are so much easier than the dynamics of affection for me
pretty sure a lot of people with shitty parents know what I mean when I say affection feels like a trap
pretty sure a lot of people with shitty parents know what I mean when I say affection feels like a trap
like it& #39;s just the prelude to something truly horrible
hell, I guess my anxiety over all this is a political strength even though it& #39;s a personal agony - I can usually figure out exactly how our enemies are going to swing at me and head it off very well
hell, I guess my anxiety over all this is a political strength even though it& #39;s a personal agony - I can usually figure out exactly how our enemies are going to swing at me and head it off very well
