i always try to tell myself that things happen because they are meant to or because they need to, but it doesn& #39;t stop me from hoping that things just... go the way i want it to sometimes. i feel like i just have a pit in my stomach because of the stress and anxiety of not

knowing what will happen in my future and if what i& #39;m doing is okay or if i& #39;m even going to be okay. i& #39;m scared. i just want to be happy and i want my loved ones around me to be happy. but sometimes that means that i have to unhappy for them to be happy and i question if that

is the right choice to make. i& #39;m so used to sacrificing my own happiness to cater to others. even now when i& #39;m writing this i feel so selfish and scummy for even wishing that things would go MY way. maybe it& #39;s my period making me emotional, but i have these thoughts daily idk

i don& #39;t even think this thread makes sense to outsiders because my thoughts are such a constant whirlwind but i& #39;ve already written this much and i don& #39;t want to edit it or delete it. this is just another part of me.