Today I feel like telling random funny stories about my time in the Navy.

First, I fucking LOVED it. Joined at 29 & could appreciate the bennies & perks more, and had a whole different perspective of the experience.

First 2 weeks were culture shock. After that, FUN! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😜" title="Winking face with tongue" aria-label="Emoji: Winking face with tongue">
Thread.
One guy was a stealthy dude. As things relaxed a bit near the end we started pranking one another.

He& #39;d crawl under the bunks & steal socks to spell out words. We tied someone to the bed with dental floss. (Dude thought it was funny, it wasn& #39;t to haze him, just silly fun) https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😁" title="Grinsendes Gesicht mit lĂ€chelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht mit lĂ€chelnden Augen">
We had to stand watches at night in the barracks. I liked the 0400-0600 & got it regularly.

One night tho, it was ten to balls & this red faced serious kid shows up at our barracks door.

"Need to check the hazmat materials..."

I had a real life moment & cracked up in his face
I got in trouble for that bc his soupervisor was with him. But when I get the giggles, there& #39;s no stopping.

There& #39;s no way to explain the tired silly of mustering in the courtyard at 0430, still asleep in the dark and someone FAAARTS loud in the quiet under the stars. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😁" title="Grinsendes Gesicht mit lĂ€chelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht mit lĂ€chelnden Augen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😁" title="Grinsendes Gesicht mit lĂ€chelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht mit lĂ€chelnden Augen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😁" title="Grinsendes Gesicht mit lĂ€chelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht mit lĂ€chelnden Augen">
I& #39;ll hop around as stuff pops in my head.

I was a brig escort for a bit after my accident. We took sailors to & from the brig for court martial, lawyer consults.

Once I was a bailiff for a CM - dude was selling acid. The judge asked "what& #39;s a hit mean? How is it ingested?" https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😜" title="Winking face with tongue" aria-label="Emoji: Winking face with tongue">
My dad called me "Rackets" from MASH bc in boot I was in a triple threat division (choir, band, rifles) & during hell week only had to sing, not work in the galley.

While in school I was in the choir & didn& #39;t have to stand watches, hand in my liberty card or..
Work in the galley
One night, returning from xmas leave, I& #39;m MAD AF bc I finally had to report to the galley at 0200 hours.

Girls returning from leave squealing I can& #39;t sleep I& #39;m mad. My Rackets days were over.https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đŸ˜«" title="MĂŒdes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: MĂŒdes Gesicht">

2300 over the PA: Galley service civilians only now, galley service secured forever.
Oh and never wash a sailor& #39;s coffee cup. Stationed at FACSFAC NASNI as a JMCIS repair tech I randomly washed everyone& #39;s coffee cups one day.

You wanna get a buncha sailors mad, wash the grunge outta their coffee cups https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đŸ€Ł" title="Lachend auf dem Boden rollen" aria-label="Emoji: Lachend auf dem Boden rollen"> they value that shit for some reason.
If you plan on joining and don& #39;t *want* to stand watches in boot don& #39;t write neatly lmao.

It& #39;s block letter CAPS & the neater you are, the more they want you on watch. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😁" title="Grinsendes Gesicht mit lĂ€chelnden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht mit lĂ€chelnden Augen">

One of the funnest parts was learning the *illegal* marches.
MASS CONFUSION MARCH!
Our div had drums.
When I became Seamen Apprentice I told the 1st class Petty Officer who was my supervisor...

Call me Seamen Princess.
Bahhhahahaha.

Dude gave me a cake office job & I didn& #39;t have to work the galley waiting for my school to start. *Rackets*
Serious moment.

Serving this country was the single greatest honor of my life. Getting my dog tags, getting my military ID, getting my uniforms - these were moments I& #39;ll never forget.

The pride of belonging to something so much greater than anything I& #39;ve ever done.
Hubs has funnier stories & a better memory than I, but one of his stands out...

He was an RDC, twice. We get "mashed" or "beat" - 8 count body builders in full uniform til the walls sweat.

His div was on the floor *swimming* & he makes them say PLEASE DON& #39;T EAT ME MR. SHARK https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đŸ€Ł" title="Lachend auf dem Boden rollen" aria-label="Emoji: Lachend auf dem Boden rollen">
Eating in the galley in boot is HYSTERICAL. When you& #39;re getting food & want something extra it& #39;s "MASHED POTATOES TIMES 2 SHIPMATE!"

You can& #39;t talk at the table & use hand signals for condiments & salt & pepper & napkins. Reason? Sometimes you gotta run dark & silent on a ship.
There& #39;s nothing weirder tho, than someone on a power trip assaulting your ears with their weirdness.

"IF I TELL YOU TO KILL PUPPIES YOU& #39;LL KILL PUPPIES." Um, no.

I ignored that shit & quietly joked about the squirrels in the courtyard keeping their squirrelish figures.
You& #39;re ALWAYS tired. Period. Learning the hardest shit of your life while sleep deprived.

They break you down as individuals & train you to TEAM THINK. Doing situps linked arm by arm.

In school if you& #39;re tired better not fall asleep. Get up & do your jumping jacks shipmate!
@Mongo1950 just reminded me.
Boot camp in Great Lakes in the winter is FREEZING cold. Some days you& #39;re not allowed off the Qdeck w/out your face covered.

They announce uniform of the day "today ball caps" or "wool cap" & one day they said both in our barracks. We all wore both.
We were the only ones who marched in formation to our school, & showed up in BOTH HATS. Bc nobody could confirm in time & that shit is an ORDER.

Doesn& #39;t matter if it& #39;s an anonymous voice over a PA system. They tell you ball caps & wool caps, you wear it! We looked ridiculous. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đŸ€Ł" title="Lachend auf dem Boden rollen" aria-label="Emoji: Lachend auf dem Boden rollen">
My hubs, who trained recruits just told me more about the silence in the galley.

SAFETY. If everyone talked the noise would be tremendous. They couldn& #39;t hear it if someone was choking.

Also, your time to eat is SHORT! Blabbing & eating fast a greater choking risk. Wow cool.
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