tw // mental health

I wanted to explain in a bit more detail the NF Shield situation but it might get too emotional than normal so I decided to do it here in my personal acc since its a personal issue too.

I’m not in a good place for the past months and handling an account where I monitor negativity and hate towards the people that I care so much for, is also taking a toll on my mental health https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😔" title="Nachdenkliches Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Nachdenkliches Gesicht">

I know it was MY choice to become an admin, so I take all the blame for my situation.

I always reminded myself why & for who I am doing this (NF) so I can continue but I reached my breaking point and just held on until all the plans for https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌟" title="Leuchtender Stern" aria-label="Emoji: Leuchtender Stern">issue has been done.

The appreciation we receive helps me big time that’s why I feel so sorry for (maybe) disappointing uhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">

N.Fia twt is my happy place but then it has become one source of stress toohttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😞" title="Enttäuschtes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Enttäuschtes Gesicht">

I know this sounds OVERLY DRAMATIC.
Adding my IRL issues, I’ve become so vulnerable so this is how it’s been affecting me. Believe me idw to feel this way toohttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">

Sorry for this long dramatic thread. I wanted to try to explain that this is not a spur of a moment decision.

It’s been going on for months. It’s MY FAULT for acting like I’m okay, trying too hard & taking things too srsly. That account & NF just means so much to mehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">

But I can help protect NF even with this small acc, right? I WILLhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✊🏻" title="Erhobene Faust (heller Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Erhobene Faust (heller Hautton)">

I need to take care of myself too rn so it has come to thishttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face"> I sincerely hope you’ll understand https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙏🏻" title="Folded hands (heller Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Folded hands (heller Hautton)">

I also know NFshield is only like a guide and you all would continue protecting NF like YOU ALWAYS DOhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤍" title="Weißes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Weißes Herz">

I wanted to thank my co-admin, past co-admin, Protection Squad and all N.Fias!
I’m not dropping u/n bec I don’t want to drag u in this messy emotional thread.

Thank you and I’m so so sorryhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">

We tried to find for new admins but no one approached us so we had no other choicehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">