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Been thinking about my old friend group tonight. My feelings about leaving them I& #39;ve always implied to my current friends with shit like "I& #39;m so glad I left them especially now". I think the friends I& #39;m out to get why but I just wanna write my thoughts.(idk how long this will be)
I& #39;ve known these people since I was like 10 so it made sense to keep talking to them. But I think at some point there was a time where I was trapped by these people. Scared to move on. Some times our relationship became outright abusive driving me to tears. I still never left -
- tho. I was scared no one else would have the same interests. So I kept leaving the server we were in everytime I thought I& #39;d had enough. But I kept going back out of fear and the fact I still saw these people at school. I was trapped so hard in this loop it became a running -
- joke with them. And now knowing I& #39;m trans leaving them was the best thing I could& #39;ve done cause they would& #39;ve never accepted me. I remember hearing transphobic shit from them all the time. I got so lucky finding my current friends and my destiny clan.
If I hadn& #39;t found these people I& #39;d still be stuck in this abusive loop and probably hate/doubt myself even more. And so if any of my current friends find this account after I come out I just wanna say one thing.
Even if I may not show it 100% of the time or even 50% of the time. I don& #39;t know what I would& #39;ve done without yall. And even though I ain& #39;t out to you all yet I& #39;m sure you& #39;ll be there for me.
Tbh I think there& #39;s a side of me that wants to forgive my old friends. Some of them I don& #39;t blame. But a lot of em don& #39;t deserve it. And I think I would rather just forget them but they were the reason I met some of my current friends and started destiny.
This thread was probably a good thing for me to write cause I& #39;ve never actually sat down and said about them so I think this is good for me. I& #39;ve only ever implied my feelings towards them and I think that& #39;s cause I was scared to label the way they treated me as abuse -
- cause it was never too bad I don& #39;t think. But looking back. No friends should cause the amount of pain some of then caused. We had our good times yeah. But for me the bad times speak louder. And I think part of me still considered them my friends which is why I never wanted -
