STORYTIME: that time I had to pretend like I had a seizure
(Reupload because I deleted it)
Once upon a time I was fucking with this nigga https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😍" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit herzförmigen Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit herzförmigen Augen">we gone call him ... “Trey”
Trey used to come see me every night and we’d ride around and get high and shit and you know .. do what we do https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😏" title="Grinsendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Grinsendes Gesicht">
So this particular night Trey came to see me and shit , he had just left from Downtown
Mane was lookin sooo good https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😋" title="Face savouring food" aria-label="Emoji: Face savouring food">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😍" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit herzförmigen Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit herzförmigen Augen"> I’m talking about a whole fucking snack
So we riding looking for somewhere to park and shit cause my momma don’t like nobody smoking in front of her house
So we end up parking behind the community center
So I’m looking at him and shit and he holla out “you ugly as fuck fool”
So I’m like “tf but you make it yo business to come see me everynight with my ugly ass” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Denkendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Denkendes Gesicht">
So he start laughing and shit and touched my thigh https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
Bitch when I say.....
So I’m so turned on at this point so I grab his dingaling
It wasn’t much I could do with it tho cause y’all know boys dicks be musty and shit sometimes and he had just left from downtown with jeans on and shit with it being hot asf outside.
So I just kiss his neck instead https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😘" title="Kusshand zuwerfendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Kusshand zuwerfendes Gesicht"> I’m kissing all on his neck and shit https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😫" title="Müdes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Müdes Gesicht"> he moaning like a bitch https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😛" title="Face with tongue" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tongue"> so I decide I’m Fenna do some I saw in porn , so I lick his neck ....
Girl his neck was SALTYYYYYYYYhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen">
Shit tasted like house keys https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
So I’m like Okayyyy... that was like .. strike one https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen">
So I’m slightly turned off at this point and I end up getting on my phone and just watching people snaps
So he like what’s wrong I’m like “nothing” deep down I’m like ..
So I stayed on my phone a little while longer and he ended up coming to my side of the car and getting me out
So he tryna get me out , and at this point y’all know how shit be https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht"> I just wanted to go Home https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen">
So he get me out the car and gets directly in my face like “mane what’s wrong with you ”
Girl ...
So the nigga pull me closer ... chest to chest type shit , BET movies type shit and he like “WHATS WRONGhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen">”
Y’all...
What Cardi B say “that dangly thang that swang in the back of the throat”
I don’t think he brushed his https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
His BREATH WAS SOOOOO SHITTTTTTYYYhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😫" title="Müdes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Müdes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😫" title="Müdes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Müdes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😫" title="Müdes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Müdes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😫" title="Müdes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Müdes Gesicht">
I’m talking bout ...
So idk what’s wrong with me but I do not be knowing how to tell a mfer they breath stank or anything so I’m just ducking and dodging
He catch me and ....
So I’m so freaking heated https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen"> this nigga done kissed me with that shitty ass breffffff
I just wanted to die https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😔" title="Nachdenkliches Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Nachdenkliches Gesicht">
I took 2 showers, naired, sprayed on perfume , shaved my bootyhole, brushed my teeth, flossed .. all that ... for a Nigga to pull up on me with a salty neck and shitty ass breffffffhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen">
Like you couldn’t even stop to get gum or shit
Like I just wanted to ask him so bad
So he kissing all on me , I’m feeling so violated at this point
And then he say “give me some head”
If his neck salty and breath shitty, I just know that dick TANGGGYYYYYYhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen">
So I’m like “naw Trey Ian in the mood”
So he like “mane you bullshitting, you Fenna eat this dick up”
He whipped it out and girl ..
I was sitting in the car at this point and he was standing on the bottom part of the door tryna block me in so I couldnt leave
So I’m just sitting there like ..
And then he say “Ian taking you home unless you suck my dick” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
So I’m like damn ...
Sniffing it and shit https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
Next thing you know .. it came to me
Bitch Ian never had a seizure and never seen nobody have one , but baby next thing you know I’m just shaking and shit and spitting everywhere https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😫" title="Müdes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Müdes Gesicht">
So he panicking and shit https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
I’m tryna stay in character and not laugh But this bitch must’ve ran away and left me in the car.
So I stopped for a minute cause I’m confused as hell..
NIGGA YOU GONE LEAVE YO CAR????
so he come back around the corner and I hurry up and turned my seizure back on https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
So he hop in the car... and turn the ignition, I know he had to be nervous as hell cause the car was already on
So he pull off
At this point I’m tired of faking y’all, shaking and shit , my shirt wet so I done played like I just died https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
head to the side , eyes closed, JUST DEAD https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen">
Tell me why this bitch ain’t checking my pulse or shit just driving me home https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="‼️" title="Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen" aria-label="Emoji: Doppeltes Ausrufezeichen">
IM DEAD AND YOU FENNA TAKE ME HOME ?
Not to the hospital but to the crib !!???
So we get on my street .... and y’all guess what this bitch did https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Denkendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Denkendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Laut schreiendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Laut schreiendes Gesicht">
Just guess
This bitch opened my door from the inside of the car and pushed me out and sped offfffffffffhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😔" title="Nachdenkliches Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Nachdenkliches Gesicht">
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