Latest advice on sex from The Terrence Higgins Trust & Newsbeat (NB these are selective quotes & responses for comedic value & do not reflect the authors sad real life)

1) "The best sexual partner during the pandemic is yourself"
Always knew this, never disappointed to datehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😆" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit geöffnetem Mund und fest verschlossenen Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit geöffnetem Mund und fest verschlossenen Augen">

2) "not to say sex is off the table"
Feel left out as never participated on the table, I now want to be on the table

3) "it is unrealistic to expect people to stop having sex indefinitely"
Would help population control & neighborhood noise, please do consider this option

4) "If you are going to touch each other& #39;s genitals it& #39;s likely that you will potentially be kissing at the same time"
Oh, is it!! really? why didn& #39;t anyone tell me this, I thought that kissing the genitals was the correct procedure, no wonder I always get a lot of moans

5) "wearing a face mask during sex and favouring positions where you& #39;re not face-to-face"
I hear that fetish gear, full body costume, & kama sutra sales have all dramatically increased. Finally I can buy that hazmat suit with flaps & not look weird.

6) "And given we& #39;re supposed to be doing it after most things - washing your hands for more than 20 seconds or using hand sanitiser before & after sex is recommended."
Please yes, always keep good hygiene people, in fact wash everywhere. Or have sex in the shower at same time

Don& #39;t go back to boredom in the bedroom, have some fun peeps, open up to a new normal

This thread is a fun commentary on latest advice on sex while we open-up back up, from The Terrence Higgins Trust &interviews by BBC newsbeat. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-53736087">https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/news...