I have some Ellen takeaways -- and it& #39;s only after watching her on Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

I understood it.

Ellen is an older lesbian woman with no kids. She didn& #39;t do the "kid thing" that changes us.

Ellen is you... but at 26. No kids. Just in your head.

I mean this in the sincerest way: Kids change how you exist.

It& #39;s not a dependency.

It& #39;s a salient transformation. As a parent, you start caring about your kids, but also anyone else& #39;s kid.

You stop being a "you" person.

I don& #39;t fault Ellen. Lots of people in entertainment are shitty to their staff. They still have jobs.

Ellen is just... Missing something many of us understand.