I don& #39;t think I& #39;ve ever had a legit anxiety attack--at least, like a physically debilitating one--but BOY do I feel myself get close when I& #39;ve got the entire family bearing down on me for big, sudden decisions

I personally accepted that this entire year is just a gigantic mulligan awhile ago, so its both shocking and little offensive to see my own family act like pretending to have fun IN A PANDEMIC is possible for someone with as much anxiety as I have

I miss my friends, I miss going out, I miss feeling like an actual young person and not the grizzled elder I feel like rn. But I can& #39;t do anything about it and theres no point in getting my hopes up now. I& #39;m so good at self-restraint, I might as well keep it up, right??

yeah it& #39;d be cool to do things for my birthday, but i& #39;m not worth putting people in danger, and its not as if i& #39;ve had high hopes for my bdays since i had that chuck e cheese party when i was 7. those parties were the PEAK.

anyway, i& #39;m sad, this thread is sad, and i dont even have to deal with all the serious shit that tons of people have been dealing with so i& #39;m just gonna hug the dog and go to bed