CW: Mental Health

Ever beat yourself up when you overcommit and can& #39;t complete a task? Yeah, me too.

The last few weeks have hit me hard. Been feeling like a dam is about to burst behind my eyes for days. Still hasn& #39;t happened.

Streams planned? They fell apart. Failing hurts.

I& #39;ve been upgrading my streaming set up with flashing lights and quality improvements... and it feels so unnecessary with everything going on.

My mind has been stuck on the content creation formula for over a decade now. I& #39;ve internalized a lot of marketing and capitalistic BS.

Anxiety is a pain. A slice of my brain at this moment, all at the same time:

"Sharing feels like bitching. My thoughts come across too negative, right? My emotions get misinterpreted often and it& #39;ll keep getting worse. Perhaps I& #39;m being ignorant. Am I not checking my privilege?"

It& #39;s an absolute luxury having enough saved (thankful for the insane months in 2018 before I broke) to take the time I& #39;ve needed mentally.

If I didn& #39;t find my Twitch community, or @CourtneyRae427, and still had my old desk job? Who knows where I& #39;d be.

The thought terrifies me.

Wanted to share a bit of my experience. We all need to. (Men too!)

Mental health issues left unchecked can mess you tf up. Took me until I was 33 for my ADHD diagnosis. Better late than never.

Been a year+ since first big stumble. Still not fully on track. One day at a time!

Specifically for men: You& #39;re not weak for discussing your emotions or having empathy for others. Your feelings matter.

Vulnerability, being open, is strength.

This isn& #39;t easy to do. We need to start normalizing the discussion of male mental health. You matter, dude. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤" title="Rotes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Rotes Herz">