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okay so you know when you self roast? youre like ahaha i wanna kms??? but when others roast u youre like 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đĄ" title="Pouting face" aria-label="Emoji: Pouting face">NO ONLY I CAN MAKE FUN OF ME that& #39;s how i feel abt sports, (a useless thread none yall care abt)
i am a weak person in terms of physicality. i have like, zero body strength (upper/lower/wherever) and i know that. i joke about my noodle arms and bird like bones. but it hurts when others tell you.
one day in 8th grade i was playing capture the flag and no one wanted me for their team and i was 1/2 sad 1/2 idc. anyways i sat on the sidelines and then it hit how much i actually wanted to be part of a team.
also i remember i went to the bathroom during gym and cried, bc i was tired of everyone telling me i was weak or "bad at sports" as if i didnt know- which hurt a lot. so i made up my mind to become more involved
i didnt just want to prove them all wrong i also wanted validation and skill and a hobby, but i gave up a week later bc i had zero drive and no one really cared anyways so why should i?? 14 y/o me was like fck they opinion
and i left it alone, until now...i just have this dreadful nagging feeling that if i dont try to involve myself in a sport ill feel useless and no one will think i am capable of athletic activities. or capable of anything- for that matter.
AND I KNOW ITS A STUPID MENTALITY but all my life ive always felt inferior or worse than others because of not being athletically inclined. people make jokes about me, and doubt my ability, like i do, but why from them does it hurt?
i think because we are used to beating ourselves up about our flaws but hearing others point them out is like salt in the wound...this thread has no flow i just need to rant my feelings...one day i was at an acting camp and we played volleyball
and it was so nice because i SUCKED ASS at it but all the girls made me feel like i was a valuable member and the mistakes i made were okay. LIKE DAAMN THESE GIRLS MADE ME FEEL LIKE I HAD A PURPOSE UNLIKE LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
