I guess I& #39;m a socialist libertarian because I want healthcare for all AND meat raffles.

It turns out our janky handmade wooden raffle wheels are now ILLEGAL because they "aren& #39;t fair."

As if we& #39;re all going to the one dollar charity raffle at our local tavern thinking that the equipment Shit-tank Frank the septic truck man made is perfectly balanced and calibrated.

So now our fire chief is a major revenue problem as well as a pandemic.

IF WE CAN& #39;T BUY RAFFLE TICKETS TO WIN 3& #39; LONG BRAUNSHWEIGER, how ARE THEY GOING TO MAKE ENDS MEET???

We need new hoses, friends.

And we shouldn& #39;t have to buy some fakeass proprietary meat computer to just to make sure Maude and Jerry won that box of bratwurst in a game of equal chance.

If it& #39;s a 30-minute long charity raffle at a bar for comestibles valued at less than $50, NO ONE CARES.