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Being on 3rd shift is no good for my mental health. All there is to do after med count is think about shit.
Like how there& #39;s thousands upon thousands of people on this earth who& #39;s beliefs dictate that they don& #39;t have to treat you as a human being
Or how someone can physically and emotionally terrorize you for the entirety of your formative years and thinks that just because it was "so long ago" that you& #39;re the one who& #39;s messed up for still caring
Or how some people can weaponize their trauma against people equally or more damaged than themselves without giving a single fuck about how they& #39;re perpetuating the other people& #39;s trauma
Or how you can leave the middle of a party to walk a mile, put a bitch "so drunk they& #39;re crying they& #39;re gonna die" to bed (probs emotional manipulation), and later have them two face you and pretend YOU are a shitty person whenever they get called out because you "never cared"
Or how this world is littered with grown ass men who literally somehow feel that they& #39;re hot shit for sexually preying on literal children
Or how someone can abandon over 10 children and try to tell every single one to their face in a MASS. TEXT. that they "wanted to be there but your mothers wouldn& #39;t allow it"
Needless to say, if there& #39;s anything I think about the most, it& #39;s the people who act with only themselves in mind with literally 0 care about how they& #39;re hurting others and literally have no sense of accountability
Have I fucked up and hurt people& #39;s feelings and messed up relationships too? Of fucking course. I& #39;m not exempt nor do I claim to be. But when I even ACCIDENTALLY hurt someone I am so viscerally disappointed in myself for not realizing how I could hurt them.
I just can not with my own mind process how people could get hurt in the same ways I know all too well and then decide they want to inflict that pain on others. I have an even harder time thinking of people who do it without any of their own trauma in the first place.
And I completely understand that my own mental illness can and absolutely does contribute to how much these things affect me. But I am hyper aware of how what I say and do may hurt others because of that.
I literally even feel guilty writing this thread because I can understand the pain that some of these people went through being in this same fucked up world, but it took me 20 years to get it through my thick head that it& #39;s not an excuse to cause me and others harm
