"There isn& #39;t any iceberg. There was an iceberg but it& #39;s in a totally different ocean. The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon. There is an iceberg but we didn& #39;t hit the iceberg. We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly. 1/

The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg. We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats. Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them. 2/

We don& #39;t have any lifeboats, we& #39;re not lifeboat distributors. Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats. I really don& #39;t think we need that many lifeboats. 3/

We have lifeboats and they& #39;re supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers& #39; lifeboats. The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship. Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg." 4/