i fantasized about what i might do with all the time i imagine having after i leave the monastery (which is tomorrow!) and the main thing that came up is writing about 2018. it& #39;s been long overdue and i need to get it off my stack but ugh it& #39;s gonna be hard

i don& #39;t really know what the etiquette is for publicly writing about weird shit that involved other people. i& #39;d like to get the permission of at least one other and ideally maybe like ~12 other people (even if i anonymize all of them) and who knows how long that& #39;ll take

there& #39;s some collective grieving that hasn& #39;t been done yet and i was hoping to figure out a way to do that first but i& #39;m not optimistic about it at this point. most of them probably don& #39;t wanna think about it anymore. but i haven& #39;t been able to stop

among other things re: the hardness is i need to decide to what extent i& #39;m gonna cancel myself. one of the bits, if i write about it, will be the most vulnerable thing i& #39;ve ever written about. it& #39;s probably not as bad as i& #39;m afraid of but i& #39;m afraid of losing friends

very sorry for the incredible vagueness. this thread is the closest i& #39;ve come to writing about all this publicly so far, that i can remember: https://twitter.com/QiaochuYuan/status/1176616107953684480?s=20">https://twitter.com/QiaochuYu...