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i have really bad paranoia and i always feel like people are always on the jump to criticize what i do so they have an excuse as to why they’ve never liked me and i feel like a lot of my friends don’t actually like me for who i am but rather for who i’m friends with?
i don’t mean like “oh she’s friends with popular people” i mean like i feel like my friends are more comfortable with my other friends more than they are with me ... like
idk this thread is going in the trash soon anyways i just wanted to see if i could situate my thoughts because it’s been bothering me for awhile
cause this happened on instagram every time i gain some kind of traction it spikes pretty heavy because people i haven’t seen in awhile come out of the woodworks and i’m like ... hi ?
not that i blame them entirely i also forget people pretty quickly i just ... don’t like when people are so up under me when they’ve never seemed to take interest in me before i started talking to the people they actually care about? it feels like a broken link
but i’m also extremely quick to exaggerate and jump to conclusions because i ALSO want a reason to be put down for WHATEVERRR purpose i just like ??? idk my head has bugs in it
this isn’t new or anything either i promise i don’t mean to set anyone off it’s just 2 am and idk what else to do it sits here forever lol
i feel like people have this vision of me whwre jm all cool or whatever because my friends are really cool and they are ! but then they get closer to me and dm me and realize i’m actually just really annoying and childish 
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