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Hi
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤️" title="Red heart" aria-label="Emoji: Red heart"> I have never felt so calm and collected for a long time. I no longer live my life walking on eggshells and constantly fear of what my ex will react to anything I say or do. I’m no longer trapped in a cycle of toxic and manipulative behaviour and I am so glad I left-
I have never felt so calm and collected for a long time. I no longer live my life walking on eggshells and constantly fear of what my ex will react to anything I say or do. I’m no longer trapped in a cycle of toxic and manipulative behaviour and I am so glad I left-" title="Hihttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="❤️" title="Red heart" aria-label="Emoji: Red heart"> I have never felt so calm and collected for a long time. I no longer live my life walking on eggshells and constantly fear of what my ex will react to anything I say or do. I’m no longer trapped in a cycle of toxic and manipulative behaviour and I am so glad I left-" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>
With no intentions of going back. I’m not one who usually speak up about my private life but I want to share my experience and so y’all wont go through this shit. Here are some things I have fucking learned and will always stick by it - 1 - MONEY DON’T BUY HAPPINESS. PERIOD.
It doesn’t. Even if it does - it’s temporary. Once you let a man buy your love with money, he’s gonna get away with ANYTHING. Cheat? Take you to eat, shop, gives you cash. But sis, next time he bout to fuck shit up, he’s gonna go like ‘oh just give her money she’ll be okay’.
THIS is where it starts to get toxic. That man will OWN you - and when you do something wrong it goes like ‘I GAVE YOU ALL THIS SHIT AND YOU DID THIS TO ME?’. Ladies, know the difference between being SPOILED and being BOUGHT. So, next time when you notice this kind of shit-
Tell that man - ‘changed behaviour is the best apology’. I wish i said that 5 years ago.
2 - CHEATING. Once a cheater, always a cheater. But we ladies tend to turn a blind eye once we found out he cheated. Why? Because we didn’t want to lose him THAT WAY. I stayed because I was scared of losing that person - why? Because here comes the lesson number 3, MANIPULATION-
I’m getting to emotional to continue writing this https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😞" title="Disappointed face" aria-label="Emoji: Disappointed face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="☹️" title="Frowning face" aria-label="Emoji: Frowning face">
Manipulation disguises itself in forms of love. You give excuses towards their bad behaviours. I was gaslighted for 5 years into thinking that I was weak and selfless without him - and all I could rely on was him. I had no one to talk to back then, and whenever I make new friends
He’ll make me fight with them so all I could do was run to him. I didn’t realize the pattern back then, but now I know. My confidence was nowhere to be found but today, I AM MYSELF because I left. I never thought i’d be strong enough to let go of the relationship-
4- ABUSE. Mentally, it never stopped since day one. I was forced to believe that I am not good enough to date someone like him so I was constantly living under his commands. Don’t ever get confused RESPECT and mental abuse. His words are always -
‘Your stomach is full because of me’. I used to believe that was true, then I realized no man should ever say that to the woman he loves. Feeding someone should be a sincere thing to do. I was in a dark place and none of my friends were willing to say anything anymore.
There’s a difference between a relationship and ownership. Don’t ever let a man own you because he’s feeding you. If you give him the power to believe he does, then you’re nothing but his prisoner. No one deserves to be punished just because they’re in love w the wrong person.
PHYSICAL ABUSE- if they got away with it once, the next storm will come. A man should NEVER EVER touch a woman regardless of anything. I locked myself in room for two days, and i’ve never felt safer. But a manipulative person will say they did it because of ‘love’. Honestly,
Never ever say it was your fault that he raised his hands on you. All the woman in me was tired, everything I held on to myself shattered. The day I prayed to never come, came. The trauma is still instilled in me but Alhamdulillah I’m healthy now.
Toxic is when someone can’t treat you right but won’t let you go. To the point where you get used to a certain destructive pattern and somehow it becomes your norm. We are always one decision away from the burning question, ‘is it better if I stay or leave?’
They will manipulate you to stay with them cos they know once you remember how you should be treated, you will walk away and that wouldn’t serve their interests. Leave or you’ll sink in deeper.
Leave even if it hurts. The pain of breaking your own heart temporarily is better than having your heart broken by the same person every single day. The pain of missing someone for a while is better than being with someone who condemns you forever.
Let go of the pain that’s destroying you. If it brings it out the worst in you, it’s not love. It’s the unhealthy attachments and codependency. Make peace with your past and protect your inner peace. Take your time to heal and you will get there.
