I witnessed the funniest shvt https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

This nigguh was chilling huns crib on a Monday afternoon trynna get it on cause apparently parents were away and siblings were at school, so we thought we’d chill for him by the street corner, have some Gin while we wait
1.
So cool, we got there yea, we popped our regular Gordon’s and Tonic, sipping slow playing some music, some stoning, FYI, it was 2 guys-2 huns, plus him but he went to his girl, so we chilled, talking laughing and shvt, cause nigguh said wait an hour I’ll be done
2.
We continue on with our shvt, and 2 and a half hours pass and nigguh still hasn’t pitched, but we all good cause we’ve got our goods, one hun says she wants to leave cause she’s high AF, but we couldn’t, she tripped a bit but still understood the situation, so we chilled
3.
We on the second bottle of Gin, the last rather, so there’s a bit of panic and indecisiveness on whether we chill and go purchase once or we wait, by vote https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🗳" title="Ballot box with ballot" aria-label="Emoji: Ballot box with ballot"> it was we wait... so we did, now we all cool, most of us drunk https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😵" title="Dizzy face" aria-label="Emoji: Dizzy face">, some high, voices fighting the music and all
Around 1715 or 1725 we still chilling, we see a figure running from around the corner in full speed, (stoners noticed first, I was busy busting dance moves https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">), and shouting “Eeeeey let’s go now” repeatedly, didn’t make sense to us so we chilled for him(running man) to get closer
5.
This nigguh gets to us panting, wheezing, suspiring, deep breathes and shvt, eyes https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👀" title="Eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Eyes"> wide open, couldn’t even get one word out his mouth, first thing he does is take a cup from one the girls and downs the shvt, naturally, he was running so his thirsty, so he chugged the shvt
6.
So the most important thing and drastically shocking is that, nigguh was naked, only had one sock https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧦" title="Socks" aria-label="Emoji: Socks"> on and a condom on, and every is shook, silent, just watching this nigguh be him waiting for a recovery and also an explanation cause bruh https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
7.
A giggle https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤭" title="Face with hand over mouth" aria-label="Emoji: Face with hand over mouth"> bursts from the girls, bringing everyone back to reality, nigguh remembers his naked, his like “oh shvt, make some pants bro” and magically my homie has pants in his car https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🚘" title="Oncoming automobile" aria-label="Emoji: Oncoming automobile"> and gives him to put on and he does, now erbody is anxiously waiting for an explanation
Nigguh acts like everything is normal, gets himself a cup https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥤" title="Cup with straw" aria-label="Emoji: Cup with straw">, dashes a drink https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥃" title="Tumbler glass" aria-label="Emoji: Tumbler glass">, grabs a smoke https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🚬" title="Smoking symbol" aria-label="Emoji: Smoking symbol"> and chills... Look it’s only natural to want to know so we ask “Nigguh tf is going on” and his like “don’t trip bro, it’s just one of those” *we all stare at each other*, “huh”
9.
Everyone is like bruh, you almost died out of your breath running like you was being chased by dogs https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐕" title="Dog" aria-label="Emoji: Dog"> tf happened, “His like checks this out, me and girl are chilling sipping on some wine and talking, then she’s like let’s go to my room I wanna show you something”
10.
“We had up to the room, and she locks it as we enter, I’m like damn, this hunny faster than an MF, so I took my shirt off while heading for the bed and sat there, hun is like you must be in the mood damn nigguh and I agree, I sit there while she heads to her wardrobe
11.
She takes off her clothes while slow dancing to the dancehall beat that was on and I’m like woah, here we go... She comes up to me and we make out for like an hour, so I’m thinking okay now she’s had it lemme try make moves, I put her under me and pulled my jeans off”
12.
I take of all her clothes and we continue naked, till she asked you got some protection, music to my ears and I took the shvt and wore it, then we continue making out, she stood up and went to her wardrobe again, this time pulling out some weird vss looking dildo I’m woah”
13.
In any case I’m down for a freaky girl, so we continue, we in the process of doing it and she sticks that thing up my bum, I froze but she’s like let’s go on, so I’m like hell nah, this weird but she says she likes weird shvt so I go on, and I’m now on gear 4, 80km/hr” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
The music stops, naturally I thought shvt zesa is gone but anyway it’s cool we continue, but I hear footsteps and I’m like nah fam there’s someone here and she says it’s prolly her young brother, so we go on, for like 10 min, till I hear the door open”
15.
Now I’m like oh shvt lil bro gon think I’m nasty with some purple shvt up my vss, and I jump off, so I look at the door and baaaam it’s her moms, and first thing she does and say “Ah, yikwini okuthatha indawo la” I’m like daaamn I’m screwed, then she looks at my vss and https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😲" title="Astonished face" aria-label="Emoji: Astonished face">
16.
Mom is freaking, goes “ah wena mfana what’s that in your bum” loudly like tjooooooh, and more footsteps start coming up, I’m like fvck, so I look down the window and I’m like I’m out of here, jump down from her room and ran to the gate, sadly I meet the dogs on my way down
17.
Now my instincts says pick a brick https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧱" title="Bricks" aria-label="Emoji: Bricks"> and throw at them and run, then I remember shvt I’ve got this dildo up my vss https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> and removed and threw it at them and raaaaaan, faster than flash cause I knew my life and dignity were at stack here, so I ran bruh
18.
As soon as I left the gate I didn’t stop, now I got confused to where the car was parked and went up instead of down the street in super speed not even looking back till I got to you guys, met some ladies on the way and they laughed and screamed even https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
19.
Now we got the story and we’re all laughing but chilling in the car cause he was freaked https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">, his like let’s go, and we ask one question, where’s your clothes or phone or something you own cause nighuh you are naked and have nothing on you, not even your dignity https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
20.
You know what he says https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

“I’ve got this condom on https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">”
We’re like “ah Ndoda” and he replies “ azvite kuti munhu mkuru afambe pasina zvakafeka”

I swear I died of laughter, this made my whole year https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">... I couldn’t believe that some people have lives this interesting https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
Now we ask what his plan is, and his like I’m moving cities https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">, actually countries but first I need my phone and we go there, one of the girls helps out and goes to knock and see the girl, parents came to the gate, we saw from a distance and they said she wasn’t allowed to go out
She came out for like 5 minutes and she tripped at the nigguh so hard, I’m like whaaaaat, how, I mean you called this nigguh to come and funny thing is, she’s mad about one, him coming out the window and lastly https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">, “HER FVCKING DILDO” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

YEAR MFing MADE https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
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