I wonder who her father is

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername
Persistence doesn& #39;t always pay off. Nor does desperation. #noYouCantHaveMyUsername
Wait what
<voice style="auctioneer">$45K... Do I hear 50... 50... 55... Do I hear 60?</voice>
Well, at least you have #reasons
Nah bro, you too brazy.
Lowballer. #noYouCantHaveMyUsername
I dunno bro, at 16 you should be happy with chris.m.smxth

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
No, but I appreciate the politeness.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
Plz
Stop
Blowing
Up
My
DMs
K
Thx
Bai

#noyoucanthavemyusername #IGChris
They get ya everything except my username.

#noyoucanthavemyusername #IGChris
Step 1: buy a Dolorean
Step 2: watch the rest of the movie, it& #39;s all explained clearly

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris #BackToTheFuture
Dude, this kid wants to give me ALL HIS CHRISTMAS MONEY for my username.

I kinda feel bad turning him down but at least he likes my pics

...(though we& #39;ve previously established the ineffectiveness of flattery! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😉" title="Winking face" aria-label="Emoji: Winking face">)
Definitely not. Sorry bro.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
Huh, funny! My name is ALSO Chris! What are the odds?!

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
I am the realist. Does that make you unrealist... ic? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😋" title="Face savouring food" aria-label="Emoji: Face savouring food">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
I& #39;m going to need to see your credentials, boss. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💂🏻‍♂️" title="Man guard (light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Man guard (light skin tone)">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris #SubtleTroll
Big spender.

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris
Love should always be given freely and without the expectation of getting something in return.

Don& #39;t cheapen your love, Christian. Show yourself some respect.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💙" title="Blue heart" aria-label="Emoji: Blue heart">

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris
TBH, it also has a special, emotional meaning for me too.

As in: it& #39;s my actual name.

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris
No, you can& #39;t ha... wait what? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤨" title="Face with raised eyebrow" aria-label="Emoji: Face with raised eyebrow">

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris #copied
I think I should put javaail in touch with chriiss.d. What do you guys think? Maybe they can broker a deal?

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris
I think I should put javaail in touch with chriiss.d. What do you guys think? Maybe they can broker a deal? #noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris
I think I should put javaail in touch with chriiss.d. What do you guys think? Maybe they can broker a deal? #noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris
Actually, why don& #39;t you go after the @roomba username?

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
Actually, why don& #39;t you go after the @roomba username? #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
Actually, why don& #39;t you go after the @roomba username? #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
It was a reasonable attempt. And hey look! Now we& #39;re recursive! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #noYouCantHaveMyUsernameEvenIfYouAreWongMJane https://twitter.com/wongmjane/status/1089071265338421248?s=21">https://twitter.com/wongmjane...
This, meanwhile, was an unreasonable attempt... @HarowitzBlack. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😑" title="Expressionless face" aria-label="Emoji: Expressionless face">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
Do you think he uses hashtags like this#?

Also, his bio reads: & #39;Showbiz& #39;

Mhmm. There ain& #39;t no thang like it.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">

No.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">No. #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" title="https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">No. #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>
You can pray all you want but #noYouCantHaveMyUsername.

#IGChris
Gah. Now they& #39;re in my comments! They& #39;re like termites! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris
Gah. Now they& #39;re in my comments! They& #39;re like termites! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant"> #noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris" title="Gah. Now they& #39;re in my comments! They& #39;re like termites! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐜" title="Ant" aria-label="Emoji: Ant"> #noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>
Hmm... Can I ask for annnnnythingggg? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris
Sheesh, random eh? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">

#noyoucanthavemyusername #igchris
I think @thechriskinney might be serious about this, though I don& #39;t know why he waveguide to see me on Jan 5, 2017.

Regardless, #noYouCantHaveMyUsername.

#IGChris
Why you don& #39;t start by not slapping people& #39;s kids and then we can have a conversation? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤬" title="Face with symbols over mouth" aria-label="Emoji: Face with symbols over mouth">

Otherwise, #noYouCantHaveMyUsername.

#IGChris
Hot damn. How about 1 billion dollars!?

#NoYouCantHaveMyUsername #EvenForABillionDollars #IGChris
Um. Why do you think I be the owner of @vulcano? Don& #39;t you want @chris? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
Um. Why do you think I be the owner of @vulcano? Don& #39;t you want @chris? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" title="Um. Why do you think I be the owner of @vulcano? Don& #39;t you want @chris? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>
"more than you have"

#noyoucanthavemyusername #IGChris
MINE

#noyoucanthavemyusername #IGChris
Maybe I should sell futures on my username.

#noyoucanthavemyusername #IGChris
Hmm. Tokin some weed.. That& #39;s a new one.

#noyoucanthavemyusername #IGChris
Guys, a little meta moment, but I went on the @gadgetlab podcast w/ @snackfight @LaurenGoode and @pardesoteric to talk about #IGChris and the scourge of having an OG username.

#noyoucanthavemyusername https://www.wired.com/2019/02/gadget-lab-podcast-394/">https://www.wired.com/2019/02/g...
No, You Can’t Have My Username

Product designer Chris Messina snagged @chris as his Instagram name. It’s been awesome—and terrible. Plus: Amazon splits with NYC, on the Gadget Lab podcast.

https://www.wired.com/2019/02/gadget-lab-podcast-394/
It is a nice name haha!

Not a chance, but it would be awesome.

Even with your offer of a little "expense allowance". Heh heh heh

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😑" title="Expressionless face" aria-label="Emoji: Expressionless face">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername
Jeezus, sending me emails now?!

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername
Uhhh. What do I look like, IG customer service? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤦🏼‍♂️" title="Man facepalming (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Man facepalming (medium light skin tone)">
Finally. Some respect. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😅" title="Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with open mouth and cold sweat">

It only took me 9 years.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername
I& #39;m thinking that I& #39;m just going to tell people that the price is in my LINK IN BIO

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername
/cc @snackfight @LaurenGoode @pardesoteric
I& #39;m thinking that I& #39;m just going to tell people that the price is in my LINK IN BIO #noYouCantHaveMyUsername/cc @snackfight @LaurenGoode @pardesoteric
I& #39;m thinking that I& #39;m just going to tell people that the price is in my LINK IN BIO #noYouCantHaveMyUsername/cc @snackfight @LaurenGoode @pardesoteric
Less random than you think, my good sir! Though it& #39;s nothing like pulling a rabbit from a hat... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎩" title="Top hat" aria-label="Emoji: Top hat">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐰" title="Rabbit face" aria-label="Emoji: Rabbit face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">

(Also, SOOOO tempted to set the price at $1/follower|subscriber just to see what he& #39;d say)

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername
Less random than you think, my good sir! Though it& #39;s nothing like pulling a rabbit from a hat... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎩" title="Top hat" aria-label="Emoji: Top hat">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐰" title="Rabbit face" aria-label="Emoji: Rabbit face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">(Also, SOOOO tempted to set the price at $1/follower|subscriber just to see what he& #39;d say) #noYouCantHaveMyUsername" title="Less random than you think, my good sir! Though it& #39;s nothing like pulling a rabbit from a hat... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎩" title="Top hat" aria-label="Emoji: Top hat">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐰" title="Rabbit face" aria-label="Emoji: Rabbit face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">(Also, SOOOO tempted to set the price at $1/follower|subscriber just to see what he& #39;d say) #noYouCantHaveMyUsername">
Less random than you think, my good sir! Though it& #39;s nothing like pulling a rabbit from a hat... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎩" title="Top hat" aria-label="Emoji: Top hat">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐰" title="Rabbit face" aria-label="Emoji: Rabbit face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">(Also, SOOOO tempted to set the price at $1/follower|subscriber just to see what he& #39;d say) #noYouCantHaveMyUsername" title="Less random than you think, my good sir! Though it& #39;s nothing like pulling a rabbit from a hat... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎩" title="Top hat" aria-label="Emoji: Top hat">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐰" title="Rabbit face" aria-label="Emoji: Rabbit face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">(Also, SOOOO tempted to set the price at $1/follower|subscriber just to see what he& #39;d say) #noYouCantHaveMyUsername">
Less random than you think, my good sir! Though it& #39;s nothing like pulling a rabbit from a hat... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎩" title="Top hat" aria-label="Emoji: Top hat">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐰" title="Rabbit face" aria-label="Emoji: Rabbit face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">(Also, SOOOO tempted to set the price at $1/follower|subscriber just to see what he& #39;d say) #noYouCantHaveMyUsername" title="Less random than you think, my good sir! Though it& #39;s nothing like pulling a rabbit from a hat... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🎩" title="Top hat" aria-label="Emoji: Top hat">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐰" title="Rabbit face" aria-label="Emoji: Rabbit face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Sparkles" aria-label="Emoji: Sparkles">(Also, SOOOO tempted to set the price at $1/follower|subscriber just to see what he& #39;d say) #noYouCantHaveMyUsername">
I really wish all offers were this clear and polite.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
No, nope, nope and definitely can& #39;t help you with that.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
No, nope, nope and definitely can& #39;t help you with that. #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
No, nope, nope and definitely can& #39;t help you with that. #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
No, nope, nope and definitely can& #39;t help you with that. #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
I& #39;m not feeling very creative today. What should I tell him?

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
Jesus Chris is risen https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍟" title="French fries" aria-label="Emoji: French fries">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris #IGFrenchFryChris
I just... can& #39;t.

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
Oh you can offer money, can you?

Because I& #39;ve never heard *that* before.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Face with rolling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Face with rolling eyes">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💡" title="Electric light bulb" aria-label="Emoji: Electric light bulb"> It& #39;s like when you have get an idea except one year and seven months after you had the idea originally but had forgotten about it so it seems totally novel and brilliant in the present

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙅🏼‍♂️" title="Man gesturing not ok (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Man gesturing not ok (medium light skin tone)">

#noYouCantBeInMyNoYouCantHaveMyUsernameThread
#noYouCantHaveMyUsername
When the mousetrap catches a mouse! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧀" title="Cheese wedge" aria-label="Emoji: Cheese wedge">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐁" title="Mouse" aria-label="Emoji: Mouse">

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
When the mousetrap catches a mouse! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐁" title="Mouse" aria-label="Emoji: Mouse"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" title="When the mousetrap catches a mouse! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧀" title="Cheese wedge" aria-label="Emoji: Cheese wedge">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐁" title="Mouse" aria-label="Emoji: Mouse"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris">
When the mousetrap catches a mouse! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable=https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐁" title="Mouse" aria-label="Emoji: Mouse"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris" title="When the mousetrap catches a mouse! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧀" title="Cheese wedge" aria-label="Emoji: Cheese wedge">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐁" title="Mouse" aria-label="Emoji: Mouse"> #noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris">
Is trading IG usernames a thing?

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
No you can’t have my... grille?!

#noYouCantHaveMyUsername #IGChris
Damn this thread is... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😵" title="Dizzy face" aria-label="Emoji: Dizzy face">

at least I& #39;m not the only one! #noYouCantHaveMyUsername

https://twitter.com/troni_tz/status/1193920117731663872?s=21">https://twitter.com/troni_tz/...
Hmm
FML #IGChris
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