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My friends, I have had some overtly political words for you lately, and I regret that I felt a need to speak of those things. I would much rather live in a world where no one could be persecuted for expressing any viewpoint, but I cannot imagine that world will ever come to be
I often think of how twitter is almost perfectly structured to create arguments: this is its accidental genius, and the source of its popularity.
Everyone loves a fight and especially to a certain type of person, the opportunity to assert intellectual dominance over others is irresistible
You can make even the most innocuous statement and someone, somewhere, will turn up to contradict you. This is how we play status games
You might say you like a book or a movie, The Call of Cthulhu, for example, and someone will materialize to tell you itâs bad, or that another book is better, or another author, etc https://twitter.com/0x49fa98/status/1025738697856016384">https://twitter.com/0x49fa98/...
You express a preference to signal affinity: âI like Lovecraft; if you like him, you should like me, a little bit, too.â In the microeconomy of social status, you praised Lovecraft and also yourself, a gambit to increase the status of both
Someone responds and says âCthulhu Fhtagn!â Now you have a friend. There was no challenge, only support. The person grants you the status you asked for, and implicitly asks for a little bit in return
Some people will support you but one-up you; âCthulhu is great, but have you read Whisperer in the Darkness?â This accedes to your gambit but tries to maneuver above you.
Alas, even friendship is covert competition.
Alas, even friendship is covert competition.
Someone responds âLigotti is betterâ. They rejected your gambit, they tried to raise their own status instead, and that of Ligotti. Now you have a bit of a fight, the stakes are low but the impetus is existential.
You could escalate; you could attack Ligotti and through him, your enemy. You could ignore him; that sends itâs own signal.
If you ignore every challenge, you look afraid. If you accept every challenge, you look insecure.
When you argue with someone you both become galvanized. It is not always true that belief precedes utterance. Read your Cialdini; anything you hear yourself say, you start up to believe
In Chinese POW camps they asked captured American soldiers to write and give speeches in which they said positive things about the CCP, and rewarded them with small comforts. By repeating this cycle over a series of months, American soldiers were radicalized against the USA
You form your self-image by watching yourself, more than the other way around
Every single word out of your mouth is a bid to raise or lower someoneâs status relative to yours
People get upset by this idea: âIâm not that calculatingâ but you donât have to be. Your behaviors are mostly unconscious and mostly automatic and although the mind may compose a symphony, when the curtain is drawn, the music PLAYS ITSELF
When you act out a behavior, and it brings you attention, you tend to repeat it.
Action => attention => repeat.
A habit is a loop, a relationship is a habit
For every person in our lives, we have a script, which we act out over and over
Action => attention => repeat.
A habit is a loop, a relationship is a habit
For every person in our lives, we have a script, which we act out over and over
Life is mostly repetitive, and action is mostly habit. When we have a flattering story about our habits, thatâs called fulfillment, but behind the story our motivations are usually simple and childlike
You can learn how to see the mechanics of your motivations when youâre not in the moment, though it takes a kind of grim determination to see the worst in yourself
Alas, self knowledge is like a sandcastle, itâs geometry hideous and alien. The mind and itâs habits are the tide, washing it away with the morning...
